ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
