Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
