Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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