You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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