Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
