Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
we made out on top of his cat.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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