Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
