do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
