I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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