My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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