Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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