Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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