would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
