So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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