It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize