I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
