I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
