Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
