from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
