Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
