whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
