I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
