Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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