She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
