scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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