I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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