i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
