either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you win again, gameday.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
