The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I could make wine with my vomit
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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