Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
