I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
