Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
