He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
