I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
