I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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