just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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