The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
