Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
