i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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