he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
