Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The police scanner is talking about you again....
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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