I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Someone came in the potted fern
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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