yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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