Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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