I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
