I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
