that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
