I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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