I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
