I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
