the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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